Nobody is going to care more about your passion project than you. That’s rule number one.
I remember being a teenager and reading the following line in one of my favorite writing books: “writing that novel must become the most important thing in your life.” Sure, that was doable when I was fifteen and my biggest responsibility was homework.
But as a mom of two who works a job, runs an Airbnb, does freelance writing work, has a mortgage and a car payment and a swarm of other bills (and a personal life that’s very important to me) prioritizing any kind of passion project seems unlikely at best — irresponsible at worst.
At the same time, any kind of life change or new habit is going to be terribly uncomfortable by nature. That’s probably why most people talk about all the things they want to do and never actually do them.
Are you stalling on a passion project? Is there a life change you desperately want to make but you’re waiting for the right moment, for the money to look different, for someone to behave a certain way, or for things to slow down a bit?
My friends, the time doesn’t come.
So that’s rule number two. Learn the difference between limiting factors and limiting beliefs. I first heard this terminology when talking to a rock climbing coach at the gym where I work. Some of the things I thought were limiting factors for my own climbing (my age, my busy schedule) were actually just limiting beliefs, or things I mistakenly assumed would hinder my progress.
Limiting factor: There’s only an hour of daylight left to work on this climb.
Limiting belief: There’s no way I can transition to the other wall without slipping and permanently damaging both my body and ego.
Here are some common limiting beliefs, maybe you’ll recognize a few in your own life:
The economy isn’t good enough.
I’m too busy.
I don’t have enough money.
It’s too hard to learn.
The people in my life wouldn’t support it.
Nobody would want the thing I want to make.
It can’t be done.
Confronting limiting beliefs feels bad. It might make you angry. I’m not a psychologist but I’d imagine that most limiting beliefs serve as a kind of protective barrier against things we don’t want to admit to ourselves. Work through whatever’s holding you back but don’t dwell on it — just get started.
If you can sort the truth from the stories you tell yourself, you’re one huge step closer to making your dream a reality.
And if you think this is bullshit, take an honest look around. If it were actually impossible to, say, open a restaurant, or get a master’s degree, or change careers in the middle of your life, or become a professional artist, or move to Argentina, or live in a van, then why are people doing these exact same things every day, and successfully?
They’re people just like you. Really! They’re harboring their own worries and bills and responsibilities and — yes — limiting beliefs. But they do the thing anyway.
Rule number three is start.
Start and know you’re going to fail and get confused and get frustrated. I didn’t know anything about book design or printing or binding when I started, so I went to YouTube and fell down many rabbit holes and made lots of shitty little books before I started to find my stride. Be like a child. You don’t see little kids judging themselves for trying new stuff because everything is new. They just do it and suck at it until they don’t.
Rule number four: keep going.
There were a couple of times I stalled out on my project because I was mistakenly focusing on the wrong thing. For instance, I fell in love with making signatures (sections of book) and sewing them together, so I was repeating this over and over with the belief that I needed more practice before I could get to the Hawaii book stuff.
But what I really needed was to finish editing the book itself and learning how to format it in InDesign, both of which were very left-brained, focus-heavy activities that didn’t feel as good as holding paper and a needle and thread. But once I honestly asked myself “what’s the one thing I can do right now that’ll get me closer to my goal?” I knew it wasn’t sewing, and I moved an inch closer to actually getting the thing done.
A stack of book awaiting covers.
Done is better than perfect (rule five). For the incredibly vast number of people who don’t even begin, I’d wager that there’s an even larger number who don’t finish, or give up too soon. It’s no wonder we admire tenacity so much in the stories we read and watch and listen to. Most of us are afraid to keep working at something for fear of looking stupid, or pushy, or delusional, or whatever.
Here are a couple of bonus things:
Find people who’ve done your thing successfully and emulate them. I tend to favor written instructions over videos, but where bookmaking is concerned, YouTube has been a lifesaver. I’d get an idea of what I wanted to achieve, search it up, and almost every time I could find someone who had done something similar. Note that I’m not suggesting you plagiarize, but rather that you use others’ lived experiences as a beacon to help you through your doubt.
Don’t let details overwhelm you. With any kind of creative or challenging multi-step endeavor that’s completely new to you, it’s easy to get caught up in the overwhelming amount of options and decisions. Don’t think about the whole thing, just think about the first thing, and then one thing at a time from there. You’ll undoubtedly learn so much of this long the way just by doing it, so start anywhere and don’t obsess about getting everything right.
Tell the people you love, and who love you, about what you’re doing. Choose wisely; tell someone who doesn’t “get” it and you might come away feeling downtrodden instead of lifted up. For me, the Hawaii book was something I wanted to publish to help other women who’ve experienced abuse feel a bit of hope about starting over midway through life, so I told a couple of close friends who were going through something similar. I also told my teenaged daughter and boyfriend, who both provided support and encouragement (not to mention accountability for finishing the project) when I was feeling uncertain about the whole thing.
What are you working on? How can I support you? Drop me a comment and I’ll offer up any wisdom I’ve gleaned so far.